Journeying to Grace

Though we have heard the reading of the Lord’s Passion countless times, and have perhaps even seen it performed, it comes new to our ears each year and invites our spirit to encounter the Lord’s steps on our present journey. As we listen, as we watch in awe and sadness, and as we attempt to grasp this sacrifice of astonishing love, we spiritually fall to our knees in repentance and renew our prayerful commitment to the Savior. Finally, we find ourselves at the foot of the cross, gazing up through our tears to see where our sins, worries, and fears have been taken.

As I pondered the Palm Sunday’s Passion reading this year, this verse from Jesus’s time of prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane continued to whisper in my heart: When he returned to his disciples he found them asleep. He said to Peter, “So you could not keep watch with me for one hour?” (Matt 26:40) I instantly realized how much I relate to the disciples – their weakness, their exhaustion, their anxiety about what was ahead. They wanted to keep watch with Jesus but just couldn’t. And though I try to be strong in faith, hope, and trust, as I’m sure the disciples tried, there are times my will is weak, and I close the eyes of my spirit for rest and relief from the burdens that challenge me. And like these disciples, sometimes Jesus finds me asleep.

I felt that the words of Jesus were also for me: “So you could not keep watch with me for one hour?”  These words cause me to question how well do I ‘keep watch,’ how well do I accompany the Lord – and ask Him to accompany me? Especially this week as I contemplate Jesus on the brutal road to Calvary, what prevents me from keeping full watch with Him? Where am I distracted instead of focused on God and His love for me? Whose destructive words am I listening to instead of hearing the Good News of redemption? What decisions am I making in selfishness instead of for the Glory of God?

What does it mean for each of us to keep watch with Jesus, our Lord? As we enter these final days of Lent, let us pray we encounter the Lord’s life-giving steps on our present journey. May we not only keep watch with Jesus but gaze upon Him with a new spirit of hope at the promise of the joy of Easter.